Ciao, adios, sayonara my dear friends // Jose, Grey and Henny, you been with me through thick and thin // We’ve had some fun nights with the ladies and the mens // but now it’s time to say goodbye to day drinking, hangovers, recapping in the AM // I’m starting a new chapter, a new life, so that’s it, I’m fin // Cleansing my temple from years and years of sin // Bringing new life & adding wealth to my kin. // I’ll think back on our time together with mixed feelings and a grin // maybe one day I’ll revisit, but for now, I gotta go hard for the win.
A rare look into one of my last drunk nights captured on video.
So as you know, we’ve been working on an ongoing preconception plan for a minute and one of the ways to really get prepared is to cleanse our bodies through our food choices, adding vitamins to our daily regimen and cutting out all of our vices! Yikes! In preparation for alla that, we decided to spend our last pre-baby summer micro-dosing on shrooms, going on DMT journeys, road trippin, nude beachin and we were even lucky enough to be able to take a work/pleasure trip to Spoleto, Italy for a month to macro-dose on red wine and theatah! I will say once we got home from Italy, weening off the vino was not easy, especially since we were hosting my sister from Amsterdam who had a bottle waiting for us upon US arrival! Even with all the temptations, I knew I would put in the hard work to clean out this temporary home for my future bambinx. With a party night here and a party night there, I began the process as you’ve seen in several of my previous v/blogs. This video is def not about the cleansing, but one of my last crazy nights in the streets of Italy! I hope you laugh as much as I did when I found it the next morning!
PS. At the beginning of the insert video, I say “where Josh and I are walking”, I was trying to say “staying” cuz I was def walking home solo. D-ruuuuunk!
My timing is not your timing and so the story goes // To invite you in, I must learn // it’s about relinquishing control // To my Spirit, lover, ancestor and friend // the meeting of old souls // Sacred forces of love // waiting for you to unfold // We’ll dance again, we’ll pirouette // sashay around the sun // trip and twirl with Mother Moon // feeling our hearts beating inside my one.
A clip into my feels.
So 2 cycles of “intentionally” trying to get pregs and it hasn’t happened yet. I know that this can take some time, in fact, I’ve googled it now, of course, and there’s only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. Which means, years ago, I was hitting that 20% like a muthafuckin bullseye! I very much believed that the first time me and my sperm-totin, chromosome-slingin partner had unprotected sex that that would be it! We’d totally be pregs on the first try. I wasn’t even putting that much pressure on us, at all, we were like whatever about it. We agreed that after we paid off our consumer debt, we’d just be less safe in the lovemaking arena and see what happened, whenever it happened, and it hasn’t happened. Okay, not gonna lie, I was also trying to have a Cancer baby, because we’ll be TWINS and BFFs!!!, but that dream is gone for now and I’m trying not to micromanage what my baby’s zodiac sign will be (*please let it be a water sign, please let it be a water sign*).
I guess I was also thrown off because I had started my preconception plan; my body, mind and spirit work 6-10 months before our projected “unsafe sex” zone! Then having lots and lots of boning in as many crazy places and positions as possible so we could have a fun conception story and then I wake up to the crimson tide, again. It’s a shock and it sucks, especially when I’ve now deemed myself “ready”. Are we ever really ready though? I’m hopeful and faithful that we have a purpose and a place in the continued creation of beautiful humans that will be part of the good in the world. I know that it could take us up to 12 months to get pregnant and after that we can seek even more expert help.
Today, I let myself be sad, mourn with the first day of my cycle and then I’ll feel the blessing and cleansing that it is and I’ll honor it while dancing with the phases of the moon. To be continued…
Grow big, grow small, I just ask you to be and bee mine, that’s all.
Here’s a vid about the goodness of prenatals and which to choose for a vegan!
There are SO many prenatal vitamins on the market, name brand, generic brand, basic ass brand, brown, pink, blue? I don’t even remember which ones I took when I was pregnant as a teen, but they were HUGE, pink and given to me by the pro-life clinic I secretly got pregs tested and coerced at. In fact, I couldn’t even swallow pills at 14, so I would chop them into tiny pieces and put them into a bowl of ice cream every night! True story. I didn’t learn how to swallow pills until 16 when I secretly got my tongue pierced and needed some serious pain relief over a swollen tongue! Anyhoo, I digress.
Years later and way more health conscious as a wanna be vegan, it was important to me to find an organic, vegan prenatal pill that would have all the nutrients babe and I needed. I wanted to especially make sure that it had enough folate/folic acid in it, because everyone tries to scare you with fears of “birth defects”, which I’m sure are totally real and I wasn’t taking any chances. Btdub: Folate is the naturally-occurring form of the vitamin. It’s found in foods like spinach, lentils, and garbanzo beans. Folic acid is the synthetic form of the vitamin that is used in most supplements and in fortified foods, (think “enriched”).
I was told by my nurse at Planned Parenthood (what what- love them!!) when I got my IUD out, that I could go ahead and start taking prenatals to start giving my body-ody the extra nutrients I’d need in pregnancy. I did a TON of research and asked my fellow veggie moms what they used and I seemed to really connect with Garden of Life. #1: I already use their protein and #2: Alicia Silverstone is all over this. In case you didn’t know, Alicia is like crunchy mom to the max! She wrote a book called Kind Diet and Kind Mama, both of which I’ve read and she partnered with Garden of Life to make mykind Organics Prenatal Multi. Everybody’s needs are different of course and we all have different moral compasses for ourselves, so do your research and see which prenatal vitamins resonate for you! As long as your taking something, that’s WAY better than nothing, remember: fo-late, fo sho! Also, have the sperm donor in your life start taking multivitamins, if you’re doing this with a known partner and planning a pregnancy. It makes the little soldiers stronger and healthier for conception and for the potential babe!! We chose mykind Organics Men’s Multi for my partner in baby-making!